Dear Diary,
America has cut off my supply of “luxury items.” Excuse me, but lobsters, filet mignon, caviar, Hummer H2s, Malaysian manservants, and pet peacocks are not luxuries, they're NECESSITIES. Premier George Bush think making life uncomfortable for me will inspire my resignation. Joke's on them! I'll never resign! This doesn't make me want to quit, it just makes me sad. I cried a little today. A tear was shed for lobster dinners never to be eaten, Hummers never to be driven, and manservants never to be beaten.
In a rage blinded by tears and Russian vodka (thank god the Russians haven't cut me off), I test-fired a missile at Japan. I felt a little better after that.
Love,
Kim Jong Il
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